


Crowley and Halt Retire

by ThefirstRanger



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: Gen, Two old men fighting in a pub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThefirstRanger/pseuds/ThefirstRanger
Summary: Crowley and Halt finally retire... and then they start fighting people in their favorite tavern. Granted, they're fighting would be robbers who interrupted their daily coffee, but still.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	Crowley and Halt Retire

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired by @ranger-melany who asked for a Halt and Crowley retire prompt.

Halt and Crowley were old now, not so old that they couldn't fight and shoot but old enough that they could feel it in their bones when they fought. They loathed to retire, to leave the corps; they had given so much to the corps. The corps was their life, but they couldn't be rangers anymore. Reflexes that were just one second slower could get a ranger killed. Halt always thought he would give his life for Araluen, die defending it, but he was glad to have been proven wrong. 

They weren't completely out of the corps. Crowley still helped out with paperwork and Halt would occasionally take over a fief for week or two when a ranger was injured. Gilan and Will were in charge of the corps now and asked for help constantly. The two retirees were only really retired in name; they kept busy with the corps and with family matters. Crowley liked to call it consultant work. Halt thought that made it sound pretentious. 

A routine developed between Halt and Crowley. Help out with the corps or Duncan and Cassie then reward themselves with a nice leisurely coffee or lunch every once in a while. Sometimes Maddie would join them, those were fun times. The young ranger kept them updated on all the new ranger gossip and liked to listen to their stories, hoping to gain some valuable information she could use as a ranger. They frequented the tavern more and more as their duties lessened and the days grew just a tiny bit harder.

Today was a special day. Halt and Crowley were celebrating Crowley's (un)official retirement. Of course he was still helping out, but as Crowley liked to put it "I don't have to deal with you herd of cats and the paperwork you never do. I can quit whenever I like." 

They were known around the Blue Canary not as ranger but as genial old men who tipped rather well. And they liked it that way. 

The Blue Canary is packed today, the place is hopping. Usually that's a good thing, but the energy in the place seems a little off. Like everyone is slightly on edge and waiting for something to happen. Halt and Crowley picked up on that energy as soon as they walked in. A larger number of strangers were sitting down at the bar with a large number of bottles in front of them. 

Watching the men out of the corner of their eyes, Crowley and Halt slide into their normal booth, greeting some other regulars on the way. Almost immediately, a serving lady pulled up right next to the table. Normally Rosa seemed extra cheerful and glad to see the two rangers, but today she seemed anxious. 

"What'll be boys? Normal meals?" Rosa was in a hurry it seemed. Every other day Rosa would chit-chat with them for a few minutes. She was never this brief. Crowley noticed her eyes dart over to the group of strangers. Ah, of course. Halt noticed it too. 

"Our regulars would be great, yes. Say Rosa, is that group of fellas bothering you and the others?" No one could say Crowley didn't beat around the bush. 

Rosa smiled, but it seemed strained and she pushed her dark curly hair back. "No, no. It's just that they're drinking too much too early. That tends to lead to trouble." 

"Well, if trouble starts, Halt and I can stop it quicker than a ranger's arrow." Halt nearly rolled his eyes at that. Crowley accompanied his words with a goofy smile and arm flex and Halt did roll his eyes. They pretended to be harmless old men, but Crowley was laying it on bit thick like he always did. And like always, it worked. 

"We'll beat em up for you. No worries." 

Rosa let out a short laugh, some of the tension disappearing in her shoulders. The thought of the two kind old men beating up a gang of drunks was a bit ridiculous, but she appreciated the thought. She slid their coffees towards them. 

"I'll let you know when." Rosa went off towards the bar before being reluctantly flagged down by another table. 

Halt took a deep sip of his coffee. It was nice and hot, nothing added to it. Crowley's, on the other hand, was full of milk and he was debating on adding honey and sugar to it. It was a big cause of disagreement between the two friends. After a couple minutes of comfortable silence, Halt leaned back like he was contemplating something. 

"Why can't we be the type of old people that sits in chairs outside and complains all day to the young people? Ya know, instead of threatening to beat up a group of strangers in a bar." Crowley leveled a look at Halt. Halt already complained to the young people, he didn't need to retire to do so. And Halt complaining about beating people up was the most hypocritical thing Crowley had ever heard. And he lived through Morgarath's political machinations.

"Halt, that sounds absolutely lovely, but I'm afraid that you attract danger wherever you go. We'd never be able to sit down." 

"Wherever I go? Me, attract trouble? I seem to recall that you were the one who started a bar fight the first night we met." Crowley had to admit that was true, but he continued on. The constant bickering and one upping of each other was just what they did. 

"Well, I seem to recall you getting drunk one night and committing treason against our dear friend Duncan and then getting banished as a criminal." While that event had been very painful at the time, it had become somewhat of a joke over the years. Crowley in particular found it very funny. Duncan, not so much. 

"I'm not the one who disguised himself as a washer woman and had bandits chasing after him when they found you out." 

"Whaddya mean? You were right there next to me being chased! And you made the better washerwoman anyways." 

"I guess trouble follows both of us around." Crowley grunted, which Halt knew meant he was right, Crowley just didn't want to admit it.

At that moment, Rosa came back with their meals. A bowl of stew was slid in front of Halt and a plate of biscuits and gravy slid in front of Crowley. 

"Need us to beat them up?" asked Halt, only half joking. He got a strained smile. The men had been making more noise and Halt could see the outlines of dagger underneath their tunics. The situation was getting dangerous. 

"No, no," Rosa absently looked over her shoulder back at the men. "At least not yet." 

The pair of men exchanged glances. It was more serious than they thought. 

"We'll take the bills now." Rosa already had the bills prepared and the men took them gratefully. The tavern was almost empty except for the drunk strangers, Halt and Crowley, and a few stragglers. 

The meals were a good price and Halt fished out some coins and Crowley did the same. Now came the next part of their routine. The disagreement over tipping. Halt looked over at Crowley's tip for Rosa. It was pretty generous, but it could be better. 

"Pay Rosa more, why don't ya? I know how cheap you can be, but you can afford a better tip." 

"How do you know I'm cheap?" exclaimed Crowley, only pretending to be affronted. 

"You spent fifty years managing the corps coffers and you never sprang on the good coffee grounds. And I never got a pay raise in all my years of service," Halt peered at Crowley over a steaming cup of coffee. "If anyone deserved a pay raise, it was me for putting up with you all these years." 

"Well, we can't all be an Hibernian prince who married a top diplomat. We're not all accustomed to money." 

"Believe me, I know." 

"I was actually waiting on you to pick up the tab Mr. Moneybags. Since you can afford it." 

Halt gave a dramatic sigh and threw some more money down on the table, as did Crowley. 

A second later, the group of drunk men stood up and pulled out their daggers. The leader had a short sword. 

"Give us all the money in this place." said the leader, slurring his words only a little. Behind the bar, the cook and Rosa looked frightened. All noise in the tavern had dropped. 

"The... the cash is in the back of the bar." stammered Rosa. 

"Go get it then!" 

As Rosa edged her way to the lockbox, she made eye contact with Halt and Crowley. Crowley nodded at her to continue on with what she was doing. It was best if she cooperated for the time being. Halt looked down at the coins on the table and looked at Crowley. The pair knew instantly what Halt was going to do.

"Ah, Pauline's gonna kill me." 

"Not if we get killed first." And with that, Crowley brought his fist down on the table. At the same time, Halt poured out the last remains of his money onto the table. 

The leader of the would be bandits spun around and faced two men who seemed to be old and harmless. And rich apparently if the money on the table was any indication. The bandit made sure his friends were keeping an eye on the lockbox before speaking. 

"Stick em up geezers and push the money over." A sword point was stuck in 

Crowley puts on a scared look and goes to push the money over, hands trembling. Halt tenses and his hand slides under his cloak towards his double scabbard. 

"Come on old man, we don't have all day!" The sword was jabbed closer towards Crowley's face. 

Everyone was looking at Crowley and Halt. The cook looked pale and Tosa was frozen in place. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Crowley looked at Halt. 

"It's never a quiet day with you." That was the signal. With that, Halt exploded into action. 

Halt lunged at the bandit, startling him and Crowley rushed at the assailants at the bar. The sword is slammed onto the table, scattering the money on the floor. Half of the robbers turned towards Crowley and the other half rushed to their leader's aid, the money all but forgotten. 

At the bar, Crowley smiles as he sized up the robbers. Three men, slightly above average build, untrained. And, it seemed, hesitant to attack an old man even when the old man in question had showed some skill. Never mind their hesitation, Crowley would start the dance. 

Halt had slammed the leader onto the table and the other two robbers were circling him. One darted towards him and Halt swung his fist into his gut and grabbed the man in a headlock. As Halt was doing this, the other robber jumped on his back. 

"Oof!" Halt let out a rush of air. He bent over backwards and slammed the man onto the table. 

Halt felt the grip on his back release and he started beating up the bandit in the headlock. The man makes no attempt to fight Halt even a little and Halt looks over at Crowley. 

He sees Crowley punching the bandits, and instantly it's like they're young again. Fighting Morgarath, reinstating the corps, beating uo bandits. It all comes back to Halt and when he looks over at Crowley and his hair is bright red again instead of the dull grey. Crowley looks over and catches Halt's eye. He sees Halt as he first did fifty years ago. A dark haired, scowling Hibernian beating up a criminal. It's like no time has passed. 

Barely two minutes pass and all the robbers are on the floor unconcious. The cook fled to grab the nearest authority and Rosa was looking shocked pressed up against the bar. 

Crowley looked at her. "I told you we'd take care of those men." 

All Rosa could do was stare at him and Halt. She had thought their offer was a joke. The door burst open and in walked a ranger. She stared at the mess the two men had made and then stared at the two men. Halt was holding his back and Crowley seemed to be nursing a black eye. 

"You know these men are wanted bandits, right? You're going to have to fill out some paperwork for this incident." 

Crowley called back to the ranger. "We know Maddie, we know." 

Halt groaned at Crowley. "We're never going to get to retire are we?" Not that Halt was complaining too much, but if he kept fighting strangers, Pauline would be displeased. And he wasn't sure how much straight up brawling his back could take. 

Crowley gave a tired smile, holding back a wince as his grin split his bruise. "Nope!"


End file.
